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Apparently I lost my virginity to Barney the Dinosaur in the toy aisle at Walmart!
How about you?

I had a pillow fight with Barack Obama when I was 12

I bought crack from Johnny Bravo and he smelled like play-doh

I bought crack from Dobby the House-Elf and I felt dirty afterwards.

I bought crack from Batman in a Burger King parking lot 

I had a one night stand with jack sparrow in a ski mask

I made a porno with Steve Carell on my birthday

I lost my virginity to Jack Sparrow in Taco Bell

I made a porno with Dobby the House Elf, and I cried the entire time. :(

I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO STEVE CARELL WHEN I WAS 12

I brought crack from Johnny freaking bravo on my birthday

I made a porno with Barney the Dinosaur in the back seat of a Mercedes Benz

I got into a hot tub with Johnny bravo and he let me ride his disco stick
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